Thursday, February 11, 2010


My letter in response to the article found here: 

I just finished reading this steaming pile that you call a response to the insensitive comments that John Mayer made in his Playboy Magazine interview. What concerns me most about your “response” is that in light of his racist, sexist & degrading comments, all that you seem to be concerned about is that your chances of ever getting to ride his David Duke are now out the window. It’s pretty clear to me that you’re insecure and that you have issues with your blackness that started WAY before this article leaked yesterday. First off, my legs did NOT snap shut when I read his interview. They were NEVER open to John Mayer! I don’t find his sophomoric fart humor or “off beat” TMZ sound bytes intriguing or humorous. He’s made a name for himself (outside of his music) by being a complete douche nozzle. I’m only familiar with 2 of his songs & I couldn’t hum a single bar to either one if Jigsaw had me chained to a water heater. So you’re clearly delusional if you think millions of black women have been checking for John Mayer like that. Second, you’re placing blame on John Mayer for your own feelings of invisibility whenever you enter a room full of white men. Honey, it’s not John Mayer’s fault that white men don’t find you attractive. It’s not his fault that you’ve never in your 22 years been “hit on” by a white man. It’s YOUR fault. YOU need to stop looking for scapegoats and start looking within. I’ve never met you in my life and I can tell just by reading this article that you’re self-loathing. So I can only imagine that you exude this while in social settings. When you go out, your mind is already made up that none of the white boys will approach you and I’m sure your body language & overall aura makes you both unapproachable & undesirable. I’ve dated men of every color. I guess you can say my heart is Benetton too. And them approaching me had nothing to do with how I was dressed or how I look. I’m fun, and confident, and smart & not desperate. I don’t go to social gatherings for sexual validation. I don’t feel ugly or unsexy in a room full of any race of people. I couldn’t care less if I get approached by men when I go out. I’m confident & happy with myself. And when men see women that exude these qualities, they’re intrigued by it. As soon as you begin to realize that you’re your own worst enemy, you can stop blaming douchebags that would never give you the time of day anyway for your own shortcomings. You grew up “hearing” that black is beautiful. You grew up “knowing” people who felt this. But you clearly don’t feel it yourself. How do you expect anyone else to think you’re beautiful if YOU don’t believe it yourself? Work on yourself La Toya and stop blaming others. 

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