Cops

I just finished watching an episode of my favorite reality T.V. show...Cops. ("Huh! Bad boys! Whatchu gun, whatchu gonna do!") Damn, Inner Circle made out like bandits with that one didn't they?! Here's a little known factoid about moi. I have a relative who was on Cops. This was a proud moment in my family's history, let me tell you!!! I was in high school, but man do I remember this like it was yesterday! A close friend of the family called to say that he saw my uncle on Cops. The family friend lives out of town and caught an earlier broadcasting of the episode so we were able to make the calls and gather around the T.V. in time to watch the spectacle. Cops San Diego - the officers got called out to a domestic dispute. They arrive at the house and my uncle answers the door. The officers told him that the neighbors called because there was a disturbance. He's calm and swears there's no problem. His wife comes to the door and says everything is ok. The cops leave, but not before warning him that if they get called back out he's going to jail. Fast forward to a few hours later. The cops are called AGAIN. The neighbors say they're really going at it this time. So, the officers show up and knock on the door. And my uncle answers the door...COVERED IN FLOUR! And jelly...and eggs...and ketchup. Yeah...take that one in for a minute...speaking in a normal voice like there's no problem. "Hello officers, lovely day isn't it?"So, the camera crew comes in and the kitchen is wrecked (you know they weren't going to pass this one up!) There isn't a surface that isn't covered in food. Talk about bad aim! Cupboards, counter tops, floors, walls covered. I mean, if this scene was in a movie, you'd say "they went way overboard with that shit. There's no way anyone having a real food fight would cover EVERY surface in the kitchen!" Yeah, like that. Here's the funny part though (yeah, funnier...imagine that.) None of us had been in contact with this uncle in months...maybe even longer. They take him away in the police car covered in jelly & shit. As God is my witness, I swear no sooner than the episode ended he calls to ask for money because he has a court date in San Diego Monday and he needed to take the train down there (they'd moved out of town after the little incident.) This fool didn't realize that we'd all just watched the entire thing play out on T.V. and he tried to lie about it. I think he said he had to go to traffic court or some shit. Dumbass...

Ok, one more thing though about Cops. What is it with the people all effed up on PCP? These dudes are identical. Big tall muscular black dude, butt naked, dripping with sweat, big buggy eyes repeating some random shit. Usually running down the middle of the street, often bleeding. Big ass mosaic covering his parts. Busting through fences and brick walls. Sometimes he'll get up on the roof or go into a crawl space and they have to drag his ass out. And his mama is there in her house coat begging him to stop and still, it's hopeless. It takes about 10 officers to get this guy subdued but not before he busts through a pair of handcuffs! What on earth would EVER make anyone want to try PCP? Are they curious to know what it feels like to have super human strength? To bust through a window head first and be unphased by it? To get shot and still keep running full speed? It has to make you feel real hot too, because PCP and nudity are synonymous. It's hardly a recreational drug. I don't think dudes sit around with the homies smoking PCP (or however you ingest it.) And these guys always have such ripped bodies! They clearly go to the gym or have weights in the front yards or something. Seems like a conflict of interests to me. Dunno....